Fade Into You: Chapter 7

Some OCD issues? That might be putting it mildly. I watched as the tall blonde man unfolded, refolded and scrutinized the letter that I wrote to Bella at least fifteen times before she finally pulled it out of his hands gently.

"Sorry…" he whispered. He looked ashamed and I rolled my eyes. I mean, it wasn't that big of a deal, and he looked like he was going to get slapped on the wrist or something for it. Surely Bella wouldn't do something like that. Not to her best friend…her only friend. Her only friend until now. Now that she had me.

I shrugged it off and returned my attention to Bella. Cutting my eyes back to Jasper, I eyed him warily. Had he read all the letters? I mean, I'm sure he knew all of Bella's deepest darkest secrets, far more than I could EVER hope to know about her, but not mine. I remembered what Bella wrote about how he always wanted to spell check the letters or something like that…which was so strange.

"He never read any of the letters, Edward." Bella whispered quietly in front of me. My eyes darted to hers, and she looked quickly to the floor. I surveyed her for a long moment wondering what her deal was. Was she here to see me? Had this been an accidental meeting? Had she brought her friends here for support? Whatever it was, I was glad it had finally transpired.

"Jasper, seriously. Stop trying to rearrange the coffee shop. It's set up the way it is for a reason. Jesus." A harsher voice interrupted my MG induced coma. This would be the bitchy sister, otherwise known as Rosalie, I gathered. "Bella, you good here? We need to get to the store to pick up some stuff for the center. You coming along or…."

Bella looked up at me quickly and I smiled at her. I wanted her to stay if she wanted to. I'd take her wherever she needed to go later on if necessary, and if she was comfortable with it.

"Ummm, I think I'd like to stay, Rose. You guys go on." She was still looking at the ground and biting her bottom lip. Her cheeks flushed pink and a small smile played at her lips. Appraising her now, I was happy to see that she was miles away from where she was that first time we'd met. Her appearance wasn't near as gaunt and pale, but she was still so small. Granted it had only been a couple of weeks, but the improvements were noticeable.

"I'd like that, Bella." I reassured her.

"Edward, can I talk to you for a moment?" The shrew snarked at me. My eyes lingered on Bella for a moment longer before I relented and let out a deep sigh walking in Roses direction. I noticed Jasper and Bella kind of huddle together and they seemed to be having a little conversation. He was looking at her sternly, but compassionately and I could see how much he cared for her. She appeared to not enjoy being chastised, but listened intently. I assumed they were speaking about me.

"What can I do for you, Rosalie?" I had to fight my brain to not call her 'evil bitch' as Bella put it. And then I remembered Bella's sleep talking and her penchant for telling Rose to 'Shut up' with that cute little scowl on her face.

"Look, I don't know you, and I don't trust you. That girl over there has been a part of my family for a very long time. You fuck with her and prepare to lose a ball or two…that clear?"

I gulped. I shit you not. She was one scary bitch. I mean, I had no intentions of fucking with Bella, but if I did, I'm pretty sure I would have pissed my pants. Here was this gorgeous tall blond bombshell, as some would describe her…and she just scared the living shit right out of me. My eyes widened when I realized that she would be the perfect match for Emmett, but tossed that thought away quickly. One of them was enough.

"O-of course. I wouldn't dream of it." I told her eyeing her, just waiting for the next bout of verbal condemnation.

"You say that now. You would. But just so you know, I will be watching you. Jasper will be watching you. Don't try anything or I swear to God, your sac will be next. Got it?"

Okay. Manhood sufficiently threatened? Check!

"Rose," Bella hissed. "Stop it. I can take care of myself." She gave her friend a pleading look as the 'evil bitch' looked skeptically disinclined to believe her.

"I assure you both," I cut in, "that I have nothing but honorable intentions." I looked directly at the 'evil bitch' as I continued quietly. "I've saved her life once. I'm not above doing it again." My attention returned to the girl that I desperately needed to have a proper conversation with and my entire being softened. My tone, my mood, my voice. "As many times as it takes. I'm here. Don't be scared, pretty girl."

She smiled tentatively at me and looked back to her friends. Jasper, having rejoined the 'evil bitch' looked intensely uneasy. I assumed that my hair pissed him off a great deal as he stared at my forehead and the stray hairs that littered it as he spoke.

"Call us, Bella, if there are any problems. I don't anticipate any though."

I gave her friend a small and thankful nod and returned my attention to Bella. As I waited for her to finish her goodbyes, I thought about everything that brought us here to this very moment. Every letter, every word ingrained in my mind like a steel trap.

I watched as the pair left and chuckled as Jasper had to stop to rearrange the newspapers on the stand to his liking.

"Honorable intentions. Who even talks like that?" Rose whispered to herself on her way out and I caught the meaningful look she sent my way.

That look spoke volumes. That look said 'Don't you dare fuck this up Cullen' and I wholeheartedly agreed with her.

"I'm sorry I took so long…" that sweet quiet voice spoke behind me. I spun around to see Bella behind me holding open the letter that I had left her. She must have read it sometime during that surreal encounter.

"Don't apologize. Actually, I'm surprised as all hell that you're here at all, to be honest." Her face fell and I immediately realized that it sounded like I was chastising her for being here. Like I didn't really want her to be. "Not that I'm not thrilled, because I am. Just surprised…and maybe a lot proud."

That brought her attention back to me and I unleashed the full power of the crooked grin on her. I'd been told it worked wonders. I hoped they were right. She blushed and looked over at 'The Chair'. I really wanted to sit there, too, but I wanted to sit with her more. I led Bella over to the sofa near the fireplace and waited as she sat down first.

"How have you been?" I asked seriously but she spoke the same time as me.

"I read your letters."

We shared a brief uncomfortable laugh and then I gestured for her to continue first. She looked shy and embarrassed. Maybe for what she was about to say, maybe due to the things I'd written. I didn't know, but I wanted her to be at ease; for her not to be afraid of me.

"You don't have to worry, you know. I won't bite you, and I won't judge you." The pretty pink blush once again graced her cheeks as she thought for a long moment before she spoke.

"So…I read them. When I came in here today, I didn't know if you would be here or not. But when I saw you…" Her voice got impossibly quieter and she once again averted her eyes. "I just knew that it was time."

"Time for what?"

"Time for me to speak."

I didn't want to push her, so I waited. Nodding slightly to make her aware that I was in fact listening, I gingerly took her left hand in both of mine, asking, begging with eye contact alone that it was okay. She didn't pull away and I took that as a very good sign.

"I don't know how or why, but I feel like you meant every word you wrote. It scared me. I've never been loved for who I was or otherwise. Not by anyone besides maybe my parents…and Jasper." I noticed that she didn't include Rosalie.

"You can be sure…that I absolutely meant every word. I wouldn't lie. Not to you. Not about something so important." I rubbed my thumb over her knuckles with the one hand I still held hers with. My free hand rose of its own volition and moved her hair behind her ear so that I could see that angels face more clearly. She let out a shaky breath and continued.

"I'm sorry…for all of it."

"All of what?" I asked confused.

"The fact you had to see me that way. That I just unloaded all my problems on you unsuspectingly."

I could tell that she had more to say, so once again, I waited, letting this progress at her own pace. It seemed as though she was having trouble with the next part as her eyes scanned the place, looking but not really seeing. I wondered why she did that. Why she didn't see. Her voice dropped to the lowest I'd heard yet and my heart pounded in my chest with her next words.

"For making you fall in love with a person like me…" she whispered, breaking my heart. "For making you feel like you have to care," she shrugged, "for making you worry and for making you believe that you could save me…"

I froze. Every part of my body was in shock, as if they were as disturbed as I was. Did she really feel that way? That she was in the wrong in someway here? No, I couldn't allow that to go on. I needed to make it right, but I was scared as hell that I would inevitably fuck it up. It's what I did. I always made messes that I couldn't clean up.

"You don't have to say anything. I get it. I'm fucked up or whatever. You weren't meant to have to deal with this. It's okay."

I still couldn't speak. Why couldn't I say something? The fear in my chest that I would say the wrong thing restricted me. The thought that this sweet fragile girl was taking the weight of everything on herself and apologizing for my own fucking feelings was drowning me.

"Jasper and Rosalie…they're used to this. They get it. They've been there since I was young. I'm sorry for that too, by the way. That she was rude to you. You did nothing to deserve that."

She ducked her head not making eye contact as she finally pulled her hand away from the safeness of mine, leaving me feeling empty and cold.

"I'm giving you your out. Guilt free. The chance to step away now and forget you ever met me. The chance to live freely and happily and I promise not to hold it against you. I've already been unfair and selfish for long enough."

"No." I told her firmly.

"Please," she whimpered, "you don't know what you're saying."

"No."

Bella shook her head, but it did not sway me. I took both of her hands in mine and faced her fully. I needed to make her see.

"No. Stop. Just stop, Isabella."

Tears began to stream from her eyes as I gripped her hands determinedly. I waited. Waited for her to see me. Not just look at me, or through me, but to see me.

"I will not walk away from you. I can't. Not because of anything you've done. Nothing you've done is wrong, Bella, don't you see that? Look at me, Bella. Not through me. At me…please." The empty look in her eyes that was warring within herself on whether or not she should give in to me was deafening. "Please," I begged her again, this time with my words. "Please…do this for yourself."

Time seemed to stop as she finally saw. I know she did because I felt like she could see so deep into my eyes that she could pull out my soul if she tried. It was the same way I could see hers and her deep and meaningful beauty.

"I want to know you. I don't feel at all as though I have to. I want to help you. You, pretty girl…you never forced anything on me. Never. Look," I gently grasped her chin and brought her eyes back to mine. "There you are," I whispered, "let me in. Let me share my hope with you, okay?"

She nodded in surrender and I slowly let go of her hand and face, bringing her in close and wrapping her in my comfort, giving her everything I could. I felt warm. I felt real. I felt like I had found the fucking meaning of life and won the lottery. How did she make me feel this way?

"Never be afraid. You're safe here with me." I whispered gently in her ear as I felt her tears soak my shirt. It didn't matter.

The only thing that mattered at the moment was her. Her and whoever or whatever it was that had fucked her ups so successfully. I wasn't a violent man, not by any means. Never had been in fact. But right then, I wanted to curb stomp a bitch just to prove a point. I shuddered at the thought.

"Right here, right now…there is only you and me. No danger. No misconceptions. No lies. Just you, just me, and just our own words to define us." I whispered. "Trust me. Lean on me, Bella. Let yourself breathe. I want to help you."

Within seconds I felt her relaxing into me. I felt her breathe, and I felt her heartbeat fall in step with mine.

This.

This was what the Isabella vein in my heart was for. What I was meant for.

I was meant to let her fade into me.