Fade Into You: Chapter 10

I arrived on her doorstep at precisely quarter after seven. We had discussed through a very emotional phone call that I was in fact taking her out on a date, and probably many more to follow. She vehemently tried to argue that I shouldn't want to at all, and I put my foot down and told her that we were going. Not to be rude or anything, but she wasn't the most confident girl. I knew that the only reason she was so against it was because she thought I was just 'trying to be nice' or whatever.

Silly girl.

I rang Bella's doorbell as I gentle cradled the flower I had bought for her. I had chosen a white tulip, as they were meant to express worthiness, and that was exactly what I was going for. It was simple and beautiful, just like my girl on the other side of the door who was probably beating herself down with the panic attack to end all panic attacks.

Bella lived alone, I discovered, in a rundown duplex on the edge of downtown. I also learned that the occupants of the other unit were none other than Rosalie and Jasper. That made me feel slightly better, knowing that she at least had somebody close by.

I heard her tentative steps coming towards the door, like a scared lamb, and I wished that I could see inside her mind. What was it that made her this way? Why was it that Rosalie was so overprotective of her to the point of absurdity? It made me want to pull my hair out. I was going to gently pry for some answers tonight if she'd let me.

Holy fucking shit. How many locks did she have on her door? I felt like I was on a sitcom based in New York City, you know the ones where they have like nineteen locks and then a chain? Does Bella have a chain? Bella in chains…

Douche.

"Edward?" she squeaked out behind the still chain-locked door.

That's my girl. At least she was safe in her home and I could be sure of that.

"It's me," I assured her. The door closed quickly and was open the next instant. The girl that stood before me was perfect. Everything about her was just so subtle and beautiful. She wasn't dressed up, she didn't have harsh chemicals caked all over her face, and she was just…her. I stared for a moment as I tried to figure out what could have caused her so much grief, why she thought she could never be good enough for anybody.

With the hand that still held the tulip, I brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear while cupping her jaw with my other. She looked unsure but also in awe of me. I handed her the tulip and clasped both hands around the one holding the flower that was almost as pretty as her and kissed her on the forehead.

"You're such a pretty girl, you know." She surprised me by giggling but made my heart smile with the answering grin I received. I could tell that she was saying 'you're beautiful, too' without having to actually say it out loud. "You should go put that in some water and then we can go."

She looked alarmed. What the hell had I done to put that look on her face? Fix it fast, Cullen, my mind was screaming at me.

"I'm not rushing you or anything…I just want it to stay beautiful, just like my Bella." Her features softened and she nodded before hastily retreating back into the house. When a second thought must have entered her mind, she spun abruptly, tripping on the mat in her doorway before falling very ungracefully into my waiting arms. What I wouldn't give to be inside this woman's mind right now.

"I got you. Are you alright?"

She nodded but I felt moisture on my arm seeping through the sleeve of my shirt and the muttering about stupidity and bad ideas.

"Hey," I whispered into her hair.

"I'm doing this all wrong. I have no idea what I'm doing and then I just did that and now you're probably ready to run away and I can't get anything right. I'm so dumb to have believed I could do this."

"Oh, Bella. There is no rule book, sweetie. We're doing this on our own terms, in our own way, by our own time. You just take a breath and remind yourself that I don't think you're even close to stupid and take your time. Now what was it that made you nearly meet the floor in a rather unhappy greeting?"

"I thought…I mean... I didn't even ask you to come inside. I almost just left you standing here and I didn't even ask, and I should have…asked. It was rude. I wasn't trying to be rude. I'm just trying to get it right."

Oh man. Okay. How in the hell was I supposed to put this to her? She wasn't getting it at all.

"You do realize that it is your choice and your choice alone whether or not you invite me into your home, right?" I asked her as I smoothed down her silky hair and wiped some tears from her cheeks. "Nothing is set in stone. No one dictates the actions we make…" She nodded and took a deep breath.

"Okay, so I want you to go put that flower in a vase so that it can be pretty for you when you get home, and as for me I'll do whatever you want. In or out doesn't matter. I'd wait on this stoop for hours for you, Miss Swan. Trust me."

God, I hoped she trusted me. She gave me a small smile, looking up at me through her lashes, nodded again and then straightened up.

"Thank you, Edward. Would you like to come inside and wait while I preserve this lovely flower?"

"Of course. Lead the way."

As I began following behind her, I caught her small sigh.

"What's on your mind, pretty girl?"

"Thank you for thinking I'm worthy," she stated as she slightly tipped the tulip higher in the air and then high-tailed it off to what I assume was her kitchen and I stood rooted where I was. I knew she was a smart girl.

While she was gone, my phone began vibrating with an incoming call. Noticing that it was Alice's name flashing on the screen, I decided that then was not the time for one of her crazy cryptic phone calls. I quickly ignored the call and replaced the phone in my jacket pocket when I heard Bella coming back to the entry way.

"Okay…I guess that's it, then. Now, am I driving, or…?"

"Oh no. No, no, no. that is one thing that is written in stone. When you're with me you are not driving that piece of shit, you understand? Have you even gotten it checked yet?"

She blushed and mumbled a no.

"But I haven't driven it either. Just thought…that you'd like to know that. I haven't been in my death trap since that first time you seemed concerned."

Not only was she smart, but she knew exactly what to say to ease my mind.

"It's just that I haven't really had the money, and school and all…I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Thank you, for taking care of yourself. I'm kind of attached to you now. We'll get it looked after."

I held out my arm and she linked hers through my own.

"Madam, your chariot awaits," I joked as I led her to my Volvo so we could begin our evening.

---

"How can I help you this evening?" the female voice asked me from the hostess stand.

"Cullen. Reservation for two, please," I said.

"Of course, right this way sir." Her words were innocent enough but her suggestive tone made me want to throw the fuck up. As we followed the plastic thing named Tanya to our table, I made the mental note that her features reminded me of someone. She was so much like that nurse at the hospital that tried to pick me up, and also the barista at the Starbucks. What was with these women?

A small giggle escaped Bella and I looked at her, perplexed.

"The look on your face. I can't figure out what you're thinking about, but it looks like you might be trying to create a cure for cancer using q-tips or something."

I smirked at her and kissed her temple.

"I was actually just wondering how much silicone it took to make her look so fake. A complex equation in itself, my dear."

Tamara or whatever her name was took us to a table in the center of the room and smirked. Fucking smirked. I know she saw what was specifically asked by me on the reservation - I saw her look at it when I told her my name.

"Not here. Don't make me have to speak to your manager," I shot at her. She glared at Bella, which in turn made her cower into my side. Oh no. That shit was not about to play with me.

"Right. Come on then."

She led us to the exact table I had reserved - back corner, out of the eye of onlookers, plenty of privacy. It even had a little reserved sign on it. The little snot had been trying to pull one over on me. She was lucky she was just a hostess; otherwise she'd be telling stories about the asshole that didn't tip her for days. She gave my pretty girl another sidelong glance and shook her head.

"I'm sorry, what exactly is your problem?"

"It's just…she doesn't really seem like your type, that's all. I could do wonders for you." She came close and seductively whispered that last part in my ear and I kid you not, I was actually nauseous from both her perfume and her obliviousness.

"Thanks. My girlfriend's perfect. Now, how about you go take a flying leap off a cliff and get our server for us. And maybe your manager."

The hostess looked furious, and as priceless as her reaction was, I registered that Bella looked appalled, and as we were seated I realized that what I had just said could have just set me back with her. I'd called her my girlfriend. While in reality she was already so much more to me than that, we hadn't discussed it yet. We took our seats and I closed my eyes and ran my hand through my messy hair. Upon opening my eyes, I was met with the same frozen expression of shock on Bella's face.

I took her hand from across the table and stroked it softly with my thumb, trying to calm her down. Her posture relaxed, but her features were stuck like I'd pressed the pause button.

"Bella, sweetie. I…that was…I didn't mean it." And then I automatically regretted that in a hurry when suddenly her face morphed into a mask of hurt. "I mean I did, but I shouldn't have said it. I didn't ask you; maybe you don't even want me to be your boyfriend. Maybe it's too fast, I get it. It was stupid. Just a mistake. I'm sorry."

She still hadn't said anything. I started wondering if this would be both our first and last date. I wondered if she would freak out if I did ask her. Then I thought of how badly Rosalie was going to kick my ass.

Fuck.

"Say something."

Nothing.

"Please, Be-"

"Hi there. My name is Alec and I will be your server this evening. What can I get you to drink?"

Bella's shocked face turned to stunned and then to fear. She didn't want to speak.

"Two waters, please." I told him not taking my eyes off of Bella.

"Right away." He said, and then he was off.

"Bella, please. Talk to me."

"Do you really want to…want me to be…your girlfriend?" she asked meekly, almost in a whisper.

"I would like that very much. So much so that if you want me to be your boyfriend, I will work at being the best boyfriend ever for you. Remember? I'm that guy."

Silence.

It was unnerving, really. Here I was sitting across from someone that no one else has ever given a chance to. Some one that didn't even think she was visible, and I was the one sweating bullets. Everything was on the line now.

"I'd like that," she whispered.

"Yeah?" I jumped from my side of the table over to hers and wrapped her in a warm embrace. "Me too. God, you make me happy, pretty girl. Now," I pulled back from her so that I could see her happily beaming face, "what would my girlfriend actually like to drink, since I doubt water is really going to do it for you. And don't you worry. You tell me and I'll order it. Your food too."

"You'd do that for me?"

"Of course I would, for you, the moon and the stars."

She sheepishly grinned and I took a chance. I leaned down and let my lips meet hers. She let out a small squeak, but didn't pull away, and her small hands clutched to the sides of my button up shirt. Her lips tasted like home. She had no idea what she was doing, and I was there to guide her. I cupped one of her cheeks with my palm as the other rested at the nape of her neck, softly teasing the hair there as the scent that was uniquely Bella assaulted my system. She was all Vanilla and Walnut and simply Bella. It was slow and it was soft and gentle. There were no tongues or gnashing teeth. This was my pretty girls' first kiss, and I was the one to give it to her. As I slowly pulled away, I felt her try and move with me and chuckled. Addicted already. I know I was. I could have kissed her all day and night long.

I gently tucked a wayward hair out of her eyes as I smiled widely at her. "There you are," I whispered. I kissed her one more time before pulling back and settling in beside her to await the server's return.

Screw talking to the manager. Screw getting that Tammy chick in trouble. This was something bigger and better than all of it. No, it was so much more than that; it was everything. I'd finally given my girlfriend her first kiss. Life was fucking awesome.

After telling me what she wanted for a drink and from the menu, Bella excused herself to use the restroom. I leaned back in the booth with my arm along the back and played out every detail of what just happened. It was like the trailer for a movie that you can't wait to come out playing on repeat in my head. This was just the previews.

Remembering the phone call from my sister earlier, I pulled out my phone to listen to the message she would have inevitably left. I dialed the number to listen to it and rolled my eyes.

"Hey big bro. Things kind of suck right now. I miss you. I hope you can hear me. I love you."

What the hell? I'd talked to her yesterday. And of course I could hear her. Did she think I'd gone deaf overnight or something? This shit was starting to get to me…